Learning to dance (Why did I wait 30+ years?)

 

So, I’m here (hear me) to proclaim that I’ve been acting very, very stupid for a long time.  I love to talk about how cool, essential, it is to pour into your spouses life!  We are difference makers, built in our Creator’s image (passions, values, and needs) . . . Yes I believe God has needs (GOD IS LOVE . . . therefore God' needs objects, creations, being to be in relationship with.)!

Back to acting stupid; I gave Laura the ultimate Valentines gift (for her), I bought her a lesson with a 2008 champion swing dance finalist.  We went last Monday to one of studios she teaches at – what a flight of stairs I had to climb.  It was worse than K2 or Mt. Mckinley.  I have several “left” feet and when I try to move them to music (so I’ve always believed) I turn into a Gerald Ford in terms of gracefulness!  I’d tried dancing at a church hoe-down once (it may have been the Country music that messed me up) and it was a huge disaster.  Everyone got they entertainment out of laughing at me and they even made a video which they showed in church the next week (just before I got up to speak).

But Laura was so encouraging (almost giddy) and  after another quick trip to the bathroom and breaking my dancing shoe laces we were ready . . . NOW HERE’S PROOF that I’ve taken GOLD in the “act real stupid” category:  The minute I began the lesson with her she began to glow (light an airport strobe) and she continued to glow for three more days.

I even caught her bragging it up to four other friends (ladies) what a super-human husband she is married to  . . . Stupid Bruce; it cost so very little and paid out so very big!  I’ve known for a long time this little act of giving would bring so much happiness and speak so much to Laura’s language of love.  Why didn’t I do this for her long time ago?  That’s why I saw I’ve been acting very stupid.  Wikipedia has updated it’s definition of acting stupid with a picture of me and the truth that I had NO GOOD reason for holding back this gift from my wife all these years!

So, why didn’t I do this for my best-friend/sweetheart long time ago?

1)  Ignorance is bliss (but still very stupid)
2)  I didn’t want to look stupid MORE than I wanted to bring real joy to my true love
3)  I thought if I didn’t think about how much this would bless my wife then it wouldn’t make it so stupid
4)  I’m very lazy when it comes to doing things I don’t have any motivation to do
5)  I closed the door by saying I do lots of other great things for her
6)  I compared myself to other men and was able to hid behind that
7)  I lied by saying, “It’s just not me!”  This is such a top-10-lie
BOTTOM LINE: (8)   I was being selfish! 

I’ve met so many people who could add so much to their spouses, kids, parents, siblings, and friends lives but they live out of fear, the comfort of predictability, and selfishness.

What should you plan to do right now that you KNOW will add to a relationship that is very important.

p.s.  The day after; the dance lesson wasn’t that bad.  Laura and I are now practicing (it’s such a wonderful gift for her).  I love a challenge and so I’ve booked a second lesson.  I wonder what will happen when we start moving to the music!

I’m no longer acting stupid.  It’s such a great feeling.  

Paul is a friend of mine who wrote this famous love advice (considered by some to be the greatest definition of love): read what he said about these moments of opportunity.

Oh yea . . . Final two days of V day with my sweetheart

Sunday, following a very fun Birthday party with our friend Emilee we hit the road.  I had several bags packed with decorations, decadent deserts (dark Chocolate) and bubbly!

Laura dropped me off at our hotel (She had been so curious) – The Aloft (a W Hotel).  I want us to stay someplace different that anything we’d stayed in – it fit.  While Laura did a coffee run I decorated, candles, a desert bar, and more . . . the decor of the room was new, modern, and fun.  Our 42” flat screen hung on the wall about three feet from the end of our bed . . .

The shower, in our room, was to die for . . . and I had hearts stuck everywhere; with appropriate comments . . . My two best, killer cards were waiting for Sun night and Mon. morning.  Shop way ahead of time for cards . . . the relaxed atmosphere and larger selection will pay off – Laura really loved her cards (I love cards- WOW!)

 

Monday morning we slept in (7 for me) and then found the Hotel gym to be the best we’ve ever experienced for a hotel.  We then went back to our room and read and hung out until we left.

An amazing breakfast (1 pm) at the a little hole-in-the wall on Division St in Portland (Detour) . . . I love this funky, great-food, cool owners hangout (Laura’s first time here).  She really liked it!

Then we went to the Driving Range and hit golf balls, practiced putting and chipping (the 60 degree wedge is a golf club . . . thanks for the comments new readers – do I have 7 faithful readers now?)

We sat in the sun (of our car) and read from our new “Seattle-based” novel . . . Then it was home for our Monday night Family date with our kids (They insist we have Mon. nights for family night – how blessed am I?)

The result of these seven days of romance?  I’ve noticed great wonders and marvels not seen for a while in the ordinary moments of Tue. & Wed.   Laura’s glow is still lingering and my sense of how great of gift she is in my life is so strong.  We were made for romance.  How’s yours?

Idea: If you’ve been burned by religion and broken friendships try searching again for romance with God.  I believe you will find it if you admit, even embrace your fear-based core, then willingly hand yourself over, the way you REALLY ARE to your forever Creator-friend!  I’d love to sit with you and tell you more grand romantic stories.  My dream?  To see you become so hungry and thirsty for this deep love that you risk everything to reach out one more time!  You will win!  Start planning now for that next opportunity to be romantic!

Tomorrow:  The Ultimate gift I gave my wife Mon. morning that made her cry tears of joy.  It’s the most expensive gift I’ve ever given (in US currency it cost me $70, but in soul-gold it cost a whole lot more . . . Can you guess what this incredible gift is?  Laura actually gets it this next Monday!)

Oh Wow – You’ve got to read this!

1)  Don’t stop reading what happened the last two days of my V-prep with my sweetheart and I!

2)  Here is my “Easiest Ever” Tip for supersizing romance with that special person (will work on friend, mom, or sibling).

 

Tip:  Do the old-fashioned Stare-down!  Look deeply into your mate/friend/parent/child/Politian's eyes.  Then add another one of your 5 senses: Tell them you love/like/find fascinating, this love/friendship gazing!  Try to really mean it (Joke)!  The second level of human bonding is “eye to eye” contact.  It’s so basic we forget to use it enough.  If your a bit out of shape in your “eye-ball staring exercises” you may even find it makes you feel a bit vulnerable (sometimes even the other person will sense this) – It’s OK!  Keep exercising and you’ll be even more fit!

 

Thursday,Laura and I didn’t see each other until about 10 p.m. – I gave her a very wonderful, romantic gift.  I came into the bedroom (this is safe reading) and lay down beside her (on top of the covers).  She had her eyes closed so when I gave a descriptive hint re. her soon-to-be receive gift she began to laugh (Laura has one of the most amazing laughs)!  Then she opened her eyes to discover I had bought her a 60 degree wedge! (Right now if your a man you may be feeling very intimidated.  Ladies, your men will learn to be this romantic too – someday)!

Then last night, (Laura worked a 13 hr. shift at the hospital) I transformed our Volvo into the Love-Mobile!  It’s so romantic, and has so many elements that were “for her eyes only” that I can’t give you any details.  Needless to say, I did cover the windows with red paper; there were multiple candles, orchids, and lost of trays of rich, Eastern delights.  We did dinner at one of our favorite Thai restaurants afterwards.  What a day before!

Today: 3.5 hrs doing Cardio for me; Laura going to a funeral & then late lunch at the new Tommy O’s off of 192nd (We love this place – wow, wow).  Our real V. Day is Sunday evening and Monday (You will not believe the get-away I’ve got planned for the most wonderful girl in all the world – God give the very best gifts – It’s true).

Only Three days Left (Romance tips # 2)

Today, my pre-V gift is one of those “time-released” capsules, like a very expensive vitamin (such a romantic image). It started with me having Laura’s “foo-foo” drink ready for her when she came downstairs (this is her day off). I also had the cat fed (she was surprised) and I was waiting with my arms outstretched (standing by our kitchen island) and gave here a hug/backrub combination. The point is to disrupt your “normal” activities and surprise the one who counts so much in your heart. Laura is used to me being in my recliner, lost in thoughts, reading and writing. This surprised her so much that she even asked me, “What’s wrong Honey?” Great question –perfect set-up! I now was able to hit a triple by simply saying I wanted to surprise her, by being ready to tell her how much she meant to me on this pre-valentines day!

Questions (for this very moment):

• What “morning habit” could you alter that would surprise the one you love (in a good way)?
• What “act of service” could you do that you normally never/seldom do that would surprise your mate (Leave a note; sometimes I leave a text message on my wife note alerting her to look for the note – the message can be encrypted).

The next part of my pre-V day was to pick up several cards for the remainder of the week (Try to get a card by tomorrow or the good ones will all be gone – trust me I got some great ones today). I had set a 1.5 hr date with my sweetheart today and the sun played peek-a-boo enough to entice me to grace Laura’s golf shoes, and several irons and together we hit a bucket of balls at the driving range. We then sat in our car (she had to close her eyes) and I gave her some new pucker-up candies and a wonderful card (what you write counts a lot –taking time to get a very artistic, well worded card is that added plus). I had picked up a very cool novel based in the WWII days in Seattle Wa. I place the card, candy, and book in her lap and then after she had read the card I suggested we talk about how we could read the book together. We settled on reading a few pages before we went back to work. The warm sun, short break outside, and time to share and look forward to a book we can enjoy together was a warm, romantic moment that was so rich (I love seeing my wife’s eyes light up).

What was your day of romance like? I loved reading Proverbs 11 today!  It’s some very wise stuff!

Romantic (ONLY 4 days LEFT!) tips for V Day!

 

The book, Song of Solomon is one of the most sensual/sexual pieces of literature every written.  It never mentions God’s name, prayer, or “religious words.”  It so embarrassed theologians and religious teachers that for more than 1,000 years it was turned into a spiritual metaphor and translated so that the idioms and metaphors were not hidden.  Why?  I think we’ve boxed God outside of the gift of romance and intimacy.

This week (and perhaps beyond) I hope to blog about the Romance of a deep intimate friendship.

I’m going to share a web site that has a lot of tips (I wouldn’t buy the books or buy a whole lot of the advice . . . that’s just me . . . I’m careful about what I buy into when it comes to relationship experts . . . and NO I DON’T have all the answers . . . I’ll explain another time).   The web site for Valentine ideas: THE ROMANTIC.

Feb 10 - BRUCE’S ROMANTIC (pre)V. DAY TREAT (I’m prepping for that amazing girlfriend and wife, my best friend Laura):  I jumped out of bed at 5 a.m. and as soon as Laura was in the shower I took her towel and Head wrap and fast tracked it to the dryer.  When she stepped out there was a note (w a heart) and very warm towels (she loved it).  The bed was made and I’d already fed the cat . . . Tomorrow I kick into TURBO.  Come back tomorrow for an update!

Who will you romance today?  Will you allow God to romance you today?  Is there stranger who needs a kindness act (a kind of romantic touch that says “Everyone is someone special!”).

Several years ago my sweetheart gave me a romantic verse that is an amazing reminder of the ultimate gift!  Read it now? 

The very best Present is the celebration of God’s Presence (no where but NOW HERE with YOU!) here with you and in you, now!

 

My new passion for India

God is very much into surprises!  It's a long hard lesson for me to believe that whatever happens, God will use it to bring amazing blessings.
My good friend and fellow pastor, Duane Warren, set me up with Preaching on the cell phone to People in India.  Dr Kumar holds these evangelistic outreaches and works with our Only God International ministry.
My voice is broadcast over a loud speaker and hundreds show up to listen to an American speak.  Dr. Kumar then translates and this has become a weekly event.

 

Every week Dr. Kumar sends me a report of the number of people who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and forever-friend for the first time – I’m always amazed.  This week Dr. Kumar sent me pictures from the gathering; the largest I’ve preach to via my cell phone: 1,200 people came out and 97 accepted Jesus into their lives.

I feel so small and so full of joy at the same time.  God has so many adventures for all of us.  It doesn’t require being able to see all the details (or any), just that first step in reaching out and experiencing the thrill as God works His magic.  

Every Friday morning I remembering telling Duane I would help him once in a while (I did not want to do this!).  The first two times I spoke it felt horrible.  But seeing God work and knowing it’s NOT me has been one of the richest experiences I’ve had in a long time!  Take a risk.  Go out, even if you don’t know where God is leading You!

 

 

 

You're invited to a very special CD Release Show

Laura and I are so excited to invite you to the CD release show of the band our son is in: Gordon Avenue!

Quick Facts

Date: Thursday, April 2, 2009 (exact time not set yet)

Place: Hawthorne Theater - Portland OR - SE Hawthorne & SE 39th Ave

Doors open at 7 p.m.

New Album: Broken Pieces Make the Beautiful things



We are so proud of the Band and the Album is fantastic! The songs our son, Avery has written, range from Fun, to very deep. And to see him live is such a powerful experience. Come join us for this new album release show. If you feel your a bit old there are a couple options to consider - ONE, bring earplugs and enjoy the energy of this cool show; or SECOND, invest into some young person/s and treat them to some free tickets (They will very much appreciate your kind act!).

We will keep you updated. Please feel free to email me (Bruce) at Averybruce@gmail.com

In Addition: Gordon has three guest bands playing that night so it will be a Big night for great music!