Wisdom for Feb. 5 (day 7 of our challenge)

Have you sent a text message, left a voice mail, or emailed a friend with this link? Let me know what wisdom in Proverbs crashed into your life, and created a surprise! [Link to the original challenge]

My wisdom passage today: Proverbs 5:18-19 Before we jump in, here's a question: Are U single? If so, after reading chapter five, concentrate on verses 16-17, & 22-23. Heck, I love this whole chapter. I found it speaking to me in so many ways. It called me to continue to make purity a very valued heartbeat. I saw how "nice-looking-on-the-outside" addictiveness, like eating after 9pm, is hurting me and substituted the loose person on the street for my attraction to shiny attractive "things." Bruce Avery really, really, needs a flat panel TV - a very big one!

I also think verses 21-23 are very powerful (See my blog from last week - similar thoughts).

Today: Verses 18-19 Perfect wisdom for those of us who are married:
"Let your wife (husband) be the fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife (husband) of your youth. 19 She is a loving doe (rhino) Let her (his) breasts (pecs) satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her (his) love."



My passionate Bruce Avery thoughts: My father was the most incredible married man I've ever met. His love for my mother was beyond human! Even after many years of marriage their love was so fresh and alive. They radiated the same love you see in an engaged couple's eyes. My father lived out this wisdom from God. I believe way too many, perhaps the majority, of marriages are just "ok." Our marriages can be good, but they're not fantastic! How youthful is your marriage? Does your mate still excite you, thrill you, fill you with wonder? It's been taught by far too many that mature marriages move beyond these strong emotions, these first love feelings. But I don't believe it! Try doing a study of how every Jesus-follower is to live passionately - I believe we are to love each other with deep emotional love; search it out for yourself.

Laura and I try to have an overnight getaway date once a quarter. We have one coming up this month. Both of us can hardly wait. It's a cool, romantic place we've never been before. We both have placed at the top of our value list this wisdom for relationships. God wants amazing marriages! When Laura snuggles with me in church, holds my hand in a movie, or still laughs at my silly jokes, I get more of a thrill than our first year of dating- it's true. Is this level of passion possible for every marriage? I BELIEVE IT WITH EVERY PART OF MY BEING!

Every month most of us receive a bank statement that outlines our deposits and withdrawals. But few couples create their own monthly relationship statement. How much stress, small minute contempt communiques - those"you're not so good for me right now" messages are draining your bank? They might be financial miscommunication burps, or "kid-stress" moments. These withdrawals can drain your relationship bank if you aren't making regular deposits. How many deposits have you made in your marriage this week? Married or single, how much have you invested in the lives of those God led you to be close to? God wants us, it's really His dream, to keep growing in all our friendships - forever! Have you sold yourself a mistruth today? Has fear paralyzed you? Have scars from a painful rejection in the past left you with such a limp that you haven't tried running for a long, long time? (Real love is very risky!) You can know that Laura and I pray for you in the arena of deep, authentic relationships. God made YOU to live in friendship (Genesis 2)! Take those risks, invest, review your relational bank statement today!

Study Notes
Fountain - (check out this Hebrew word as it's used in Psalm 87:7 & Song of Solomon 4:12) This word was used as a metaphor for joy, pleasure, and delight. In light of the context ("Drinking from your own well," and "Don't spill your springs of water in public. . . ") this is God's invitation to have such a deep friendship intimacy that the sensual and sexual levels of intimacy would not be found in anyone but your mate! And this intimacy should match and pass the intensity of your honeymoon. This is God's idea -His plan for marriage. What would it take for you to live at this level?
Be Blessed and Rejoice - The Hebrew word picture is of being down on one's knees, so full of awe and wonder -with a face that radiates pure pleasure. Can you think of a scene from a movie that captures this intensity? Does this level of intimacy frighten you? Why? For me, it's a "WOW moment" - Only God! This is His dream for your marriage! I tried to generate such experiences outside of God . . . what a mess! Q if you're single: "Would you risk saying 'I do' if you really believed you would be 'blessed and rejoice' in this way?"

Satisfy - Watch out! This may be an overload moment for you. Do you need to take a break for a few minutes? Are you ready to go on? Check this out! This is a very dangerous word (satisfy) for "religious Victorian legal types." If you lean towards being this kind of person, God still loves you, but you stress Him out! This word was used by ancient poets to denote a sword drunk with the blood of battle. It was often used to describe someone who was all-out hammered. It's a very dramatic word that King Solomon is using. Let God's wisdom in this passage seep deep inside your heart: He's saying, don't let pornography (visual, literary, imaginary) imprison you. Don't let your fears be medicated by being a workaholic, sport or hobby addict, or religioholic (or any other kind of cover-up addict). My drug of choice? The one I so easily give into? Overeating fantastic tasting food! God's ultimate sensual, sexual, relational pleasure food is a deep, authentic marriage! I honestly believe you can also have healthy, holy, relationships of deep pleasure when you're single too (non-sexual high sense-driven intimacy). But that's another blog.

So did you just build a cement bunker around your heart? Does this scare you? Yes? Then remember, God's got perfect timing; relax and trust Him! Is your answer, no? Good, keep listening to His perfect plan for you!

Last Word for today: Captivated - I loved Eldridge's book, Captivating (there was one chapter I absolutely hated - I know I'm weird). Question: Why would God inspire Solomon to use two words in one sentence that denote being stone drunk? This ancient primitive Hebrew root word (captivated) was used for "reeling" and a "wandering" that comes from having way too much to drink. I truly believe if friendship intimacy (relational) is the base for my marriage and it is deep and strong, then those intoxicating moments with my wife are very healthy. When Laura and I need to leave an unfair world behind, just for a couple of hours, we find that following God's plan keeps us from destructive actions and maintains that passionate love God wants in our marriage. We get to gift each other with deep sexual intoxication - this is God's plan for taking a break and recharging. (P.S. My father once told me that the world's greatest sexual lovers were people who were passionately in love with God and listened to His voice often.).

Satan's counterfeit is to reduce sexual intimacy to something like buying a Snickers bar. It's an object-driven sexuality, not a person-based relationship. It reduces them to a consumer mentality, all for one's own pleasure. Does it surprise you to see so many people toss others away like a like a candy wrapper.?
Then one can simply continue to pig out on the grande nachos. In the end you gain weight and still feel empty. That's Satan's lie. Don't believe it! We were created in God's image. Dear blog reader, I want to be captivated only by my wife and my God! I want that for you too! Really! I'm praying for YOU as I type these passionate thoughts. How much will you invest in your marriage right now? Single? How much do you trust God to prepare you for that one man or one woman? Or, maybe the question is, "Will you trust Him to fill you up even if you're to stay single for some time?" Try re-reading Genesis one and two - God makes everything "good." God is INTO pleasure. But it's never an "end-all" or "drug." Pleasure is a "gift" to enhance and grow friendships. I believe our bodies were made first for "authentic friendship" and then, coming in a distant second, for survival. This concept baffles great zoologists like Desmond Morris. He struggles to support his evolution basis in the book, The Naked Ape. It's clear that humans have bodies that are inefficient from a survival basis when compared to our "monkey brothers" - Ha. I'd love to sip tea with my "potential friend" across the pond and discuss this fascinating subject. Romans one says all creation speaks loudly about a God who loves us.

Look at your body - the millions of taste buds in your mouth were created by God! Much unlike a cow, their prime function is pleasure. Our nerve endings are also designed for pleasure first. Why? Our mouths, face muscles, throat, all was created for very high levels of communication. Our monkey friend's physiological make up is just the opposite - they were made first to eat, then communicate. Our reason for existence is to live and grow in God-like friendship. God made our bodies for high-level friendships. Remember, God made all the sensual fruit of the garden to be enjoyed by that first married couple. Just one tree was allowed for Satan's embassy of false pleasure. It was designated out-of-bounds. God lives to pour into our lives. He's been in love with us even before He decided to make this world - wow! God is good, all the time! Live Love!